Whats going on, heart? What going on, mind?
4:28 p.m.

Dear self;

The past few months have been kinda hard. With kenneth leaving after two days at school, my heart went to another state. When he called me this morning, i was happy beyond words. I knew it meant he was gonna attend RHHS again. I went to school so happy beyond words with a genuine happiness that seemed to last all day, until 4th. Then reality hit me. He isnt gonna be mine, and just mine.. so many other people are gonna want him, and him loving the attention, he will flirt back. I know we probably wont even be together, no matter how much i try to convince myself. So.. the past couple of months, and basically year that have gone by with us talking all the time on the phone, meant i am just a cool friend? did all those 'i love you's' he said to me meant nothing? Or did they mean something? I am very confused right now. I didnt see him all day regardless that i talked to him this morning from 7 to 8. But afterschool, we ran into each other, and he had just got to school to enroll. He looks the same.. tall, sexy, etc.. but when i looked at him i just paused and now for some odd reason i am confused. I still love him and everything.. but after not seeing him for 5 months, and then running into him felt weird. Have things changed? Am i just a dumb broad for thinking we will be together? I guess only the future can tell me whatll happen.

Confused, Corey

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