You NeVeR JuDGeD Me.
3:04 p.m.

Dear Blade,

I see you each morning as I rise to shower. In my bathroom cabinet, all silver and aglow, you stare at me. You beg me to play with you. You beg me to do it..

"Just one more time. Don't you remember how good we used to be?"

And I want to. I want to rake you across my legs, arms, stomach, chest, anywhere.. just to have you near me. You were always there for me. You never betrayed me, or cursed at me, or even judged me. You just listened to the silence of my tears as you danced in the present crimson tide.

I want to love you again.

But I can't.

I'm too strong now. I'm too far gone to bring back an old friend for remembering. Even for the sake of starting anew. You were and always will be my one soulmate. You were and always will be my one shield, my rock. But, forgive me, for I can't acknowledge you anymore.

I look down at my legs and forearms. I see you. You haunt me ever-so-sweetly. The now-bright white lines you left across my skin call to me, asking me to stay, and pleading me to go.

I have to listen to something, someone. I have to listen to the one person who I must learn to trust, and love. And that person isn't perfect, but she's getting there. And it's been almost 3 weeks now since the itching of my last healing process has began. The faded pink wounds are becoming just another fault, but a fault that will not discourage me.

I love you and always will, but you and I.. well.. we just can't be who we used to be. I can't cut. And you lack the ability to heal me. Therefore, this is my final farewell.

Don't hate me, for I am only learning to love myself.

Always, Em.

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