crushed
4:53 p.m.

To you,

It's been so long since I've had a crush on someone. It came upon me quickly in the three weeks we had to know each other. In three weeks, I built the structure of what I would think about from then on, that small hope that I had that you'd show up again in my life some day. How can all that I feel build in that short time that we had? And how did it take me over like this, come on without me knowing it and then bam! There it is. A crush... something I'd sworn myself away from, because crushes never turn out as a person wishes they would. Crushes never are what is dreamed. So I vowed I would never have them again, I vowed that they were left behind in the shadows of my past, those days when I was younger and had helpless crushes that never came to anything.

And then there was you. At the worst time you could have possibly come, you did. Three weeks, and it was over. But now, on the horizon I see the future again, something of you that I can hope for. I feel silly even writing this, because you are not something I should hope for, and I know this for a great many reasons.

In the depths of my soul, my feelings for you lie. I like to think that it will work out, like none of my other crushes have, i want to hope that this one will, by some miracle. In my head I can see us being together, but I'm afraid those will be the limits of our relationship- just thoughts, dreams, visions of nothing that is real. And I'm afraid that is how it will end, just another one of my hopeless crushes that I got sucked into, and never got anything out of.

-me

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