A Thousand Years
10:29 p.m.

I've only known you for about five months, so you probably don't know how hard it is for me to trust people. Even my closest friends, whom I've known for several years, I regard with a wary detachment. So while it would probably come as no surprise to you that I trusted you from the time I met you, it surprised me. I think I knew I'd like you even before I met you, and the day I did was just a confirmation of that. I felt like I already did know you, and immediately felt comfortable around you. And the more I got to know you, the more sure I was that my trust was well-placed.

It frustrates me that I could never express to you exactly what you, and your music, mean to me. When you first handed me your second album, I never thought that you'd become my second favorite artist, but you did. Yet I couldn't tell you that. I couldn't even tell you that I bought your first album as well. I couldn't tell you that "Angel" is one of the most brilliant lyrics I've ever heard, or that "Shadows" could've been written for me, or that I cry every single time I hear "Walking Away".

I couldn't tell you that you are one of the best guitar players I've ever heard, or that I had to force myself to look away while you were playing. I couldn't tell you how glad I was every time you walked in the room. I couldn't tell you how much I respect and admire you. I couldn't tell you that I never knew what to say around you because I feel like you're so much better, higher, than I am. I couldn't tell you that all I wanted... want... is to be worthy of you, to make you proud of me. Couldn't tell you that all I want is to be important to you. Couldn't tell you that when you say my name to someone who doesn't know me, I want you to be able to put "my friend" in front of it.

I wish I could tell you those things, and I wish I knew if you felt the same thing; the same sense of trust, of comfort, of knowing. So please tell me. It doesn't have to be soon, it doesn't have to be obvious. I'll understand.

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