Making Time
10:32 a.m.

It bugs me! It really does! Damn it all to hell! I shouldn�t give a fuck but I do. Oh well. 5 longer than the longest. If that doesn�t make any sense to you that�s okay it�s not supposed to. It�s only supposed to make to those involved� hmm I guess in a sense I�m not really involved am I?

I think in a year or so I�ll open up my diary to everyone who I�ve written about. I hope some will find that even though I may not show it much I do have ideas of my own. I don�t always agree with everyone. I know I may come off as passive but maybe it was just a facade.

Tick Tock. The truth will all come out eventually. God willing I�ll still be here to see that happening. I thought about making up a will this weekend. Sounds a bit silly right? But you never know. I thought about all the people I would like to have at my funeral and if they would care enough to come. I thought about writing up apology letters to people who I don�t even know how to get a hold of anymore, of people I didn�t realize I would miss till it was too late.

Good grief I am over dramatic aren�t I?

I thought about my past lives. I�m not sure if I completely believe in resurrection or not. I wonder though� does stuff from past lives follow you to the current one? Am I doomed forever? Like will the story repeat itself over and over? And then I think about destiny. Can we change it or no? If everything happens for a reason� then what was the reason behind this mess? Cos so far I haven�t seen it. And I�m tired of waiting. Unless of course the reason is the one I�m avoiding. Okay well it�s a fair enough reason. But what about the negative side affect, and not towards me? Because there�s always Karma after all right? And if what goes around comes around well why hasn�t it come around yet?! I know, I know be patient and I�ll get results. But I�m tired of waiting. I want to see a catastrophe now! I don�t want to or have the time to take matters into my own hands this time but if I have to I just might make the time�

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