Letter to God
2:39 p.m.

Dear God,

Might be a better idea to write this out. Anywho. I believe in you. I don't believe everything the Bible syas (or even the majority of it) and you know my reasons.

You know what I'm thinking too. You know I love Nathan. You know I want to be with him and you know this isn't puppy love or one of my old things where I need him to save me. I can save myself thank you very much.

You also know I'm a virgin, in terms of never engaging in sexual intercourse. Or any type of sex might I add (I'm just old fashioned). I always said I'd at least wait until I turn 18. I've been 18 since May. I've known Nathan for almost a year and you know we haven't been in a relationship that long. I'm not ready when it comes down to it.

But I still want to pounce him.

I try to keep you in mind though - through all these aspects because without you, I would be dead - from the cancer or the depression or whatever. You saved me from death. But you also put him in my life. He doesn't hurt me at all - he never made me depressed unlike the others. I feel free. I am not dependent on him. I don't need him. But I don't want to imagine life without him.

Lord, you are great - you gave me more than I deserve. For real. I'm damaged, but I can be happy. I believe in you. I want to wait a while more. Give me the strength to wait and make the right decision.

Mom just wants me to use protection. Dad...seems a little more on the conservative side.

Just help me. Give me strength - the strength I have inside. And the intuition to recognize what I should do with the strength.

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