I HATE YOU DAVID.
3:11 p.m.

Dear David,

You used me. You rat, sneaking up on me at my most vulnerable, making me depressed, making me cheat on my boyfriend. I know it's not ALL your fault. I let it happen too. But god, I HATE YOU.

To you I guess it was all about getting me in bed. Complimenting me all the time, even me with my fat elephant legs. They say flattery gets you everywhere. It got you everywhere. You preyed on a girl nine years your junior, barely legal and scarred her for life.

Just over 2 years ago, depressed and stupid, I lied to my boyfriend, and I lied to my mother to go and see YOU and was I thinking we would? I don't know. You made me feel good about myself. You just wanted to get inside my knickers. They found out, needless to say. You let me use your phone so I could explain myself away to a worried boyfriend and a worried mother. Then you proceeded to shag me anyway.

I slipped well and truly into depression. I was still seeing you, we had sex three times one day. At the time I thought nothing of it. I was just seeing this guy who made me feel good, complimented me. USED me.

The last time I had sex with you was the January after (2001). I was so ashamed of myself, because it wasn't MEANT to happen. But my boyfriend wanted to see me the next day, so I stayed over at your place. And it happened again. I hated going to him, still in bed, exhausted from travelling back from somewhere and saying what had happened. But it was the last time. It was bad enough that I didn't have the pill, and so had unprotected sex and thus was terrified of pregnancy and whatever.

Over a year and a half ago now, since my last contact with you, and I still think about it. It's STILL affecting me, my thoughts, my relationship! My sex drive has decreased a LOT since my contact with you. All I think about is that I'm going to get used again. Even my current relationship.... engaged, but still scared subconsciously that he's going to use me LIKE YOU DID.

I HATE YOU DAVID. I HATE WHAT YOU DID TO ME. I HATE HOW YOU STILL AFFECT MY THOUGHTS AND MY RELATIONSHIPS.

I regret you. I regret ever meeting you. Ever talking to you. Ever seeing you. I regret the moment you came into my life, and GOD AM I GLAD you're out of it now.

I HATE the fact that at the age of just 17, I had what can be described as an AFFAIR. I hate YOU, you BASTARD.

From you-know-who. (Or do you, you selfish bastard? How many other young girls have you done the same to? I HATE you. I will ALWAYS HATE YOU.

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