initiative
5:42 p.m.

Dear __,

I just got off the phone with you. It�s 10:46 am right now, daylights saving time. Lately I�ve noticed that our roles have become reversed. I am the one listening to whatever tidbits you have to say, and you are the one skipping over my drivel like it never existed. You also are the one ending our calls, saying, �I�ll call you back, okay?� and not doing so. I remember I use to do that too. I probably still do, but as of recent, someone else has taken the initiative.

Somehow as we spend more time together I feel further apart from you. Changes are inevitable. I just don�t want to face the inevitable. I�ve become so comfortable with you that I think I�ve taken too many things for granted. Instead of going out when offers are made, I hole up alone, thinking of going over to your house the next day.

Today I�m eighteen. An adult. My friendships across the border have dwindled because I�m only clinging to you, like some psychopathic smothering fool. Adults do that too. The self-destructive ones. This is my own fault, and I need some guidance in fixing it.

It�s not easy as saying, �Let�s not hang out so much, okay?�. I should try to stand on my own two feet. We will learn to live apart. I will try to learn that the world doesn�t revolve around me, that you are human, and we are both going separate ways.

Key word here is try.

This is a selfish act but I just wanted to warn you that I am going to more distant than not.

Thank you for understanding (or trying to understand),

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