Pretense
10:33 p.m.

Dear Cassidy.

I said you were being selfish because you are. If you hadn't realized how selfish you were being before you found out that I had said that, you must realize how selfish you are being NOW.

I'm so frustrated that you don't care. You used to always care, and now you just don't. You do whatever you want, whether it be sex with my ex boyfriend or drugs or whatever you want, you do whatever you want, and you lie to our faces, and treat us like we're stupid, and you don't even care. You don't care how your actions affect the people who love you. You don't care how much hurt or pain or tears we endure over you. You just don't. So long as you get your 'quick fix' or you make yourself feel better.

You said that you're 'different' than anyone else, and noone could understand how things are at your house. I wanted to scream at you, Cassidy! I wanted to say "Open your pretty brown eyes and take a look around! There are people out there who have it WAY WORSE than you and can still manage to be normal. You can't use your crappy homelife and pitiful excuse for a childhood as an excuse for the rest of your life, so quit using it now. People don't care - they care that you function normally. And if you don't want to see a shrink, or a social services person - since you HAVE refused the help from both, then DON'T COMPLAIN because 90% of those people out there who have more troubles than you don't have the PRIVILEGE TO GET HELP!"

You make me so frustrated that you don't care. Because I miss the old you, who did care.

Open up your pretty brown eyes, Cassidy, and figure out that you're killing me. You're killing Salls, you're killing LSG..you're killing our friendship, but most of all - you're killing yourself. We love you - we love who you are - we don't want you to be *somebody else* - we just want the old you back - the one that's hiding behind slutty clothes and joints and nasty words and your false pretense of satanism.

~aboutagirl-

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