Six thousand miles
7:25 a.m.

Doll,

You know you really took me by surprise. Like, really really. When you told me you had something bad to tell me, I tightened right up and waited for some horrible bomb to drop. Like that everything you had told me was a lie, or that you weren't going to be going away or something like that. My fingers and nose got cold and slow just like they always do when I worry and panic about things.. My heart started beating really fast, and I was all blinded by tears. But when you told me that it was just a simple little lie, without malicious intent, I let out a big breath and almost laughed.

I told you that Juliet said it best when she explained that a "rose by any other name would smell as sweet". I don't care that you've been lying about that.. when you're a best friend with someone, it's all about your soul, your personalities - not trivial things like names - not when we've formed such a steadfast relationship where we make it through EVERYTHING together and where we've spoken to one another every day for two years. You mentioned that that was more than you talked to your best friend offline, and I realized that it's the same for me. And I'm just a teensy bit more open to you than her. It's easier to tell someone all of your secrets when you can't see if they're laughing at you.

I'm trying really hard to take this well, babes, but I woke up last night in a cold sweat and I couldn't find Ralph, and I panicked. I jumped out of bed and went on the search. And I left my cell on all night just in case you wanted to call me because you had said you would be on when I came back from band. Without a proper 'see ya later' I may never feel proper again. Hopefully I will see you tonight doll, maybe you can take some time out of your busy schedule and come and see me just for a minute.

I went to bed crying last night, and I wondered why God would put two people so perfectly suited for a friendship halfway across the world from one another. I just cried and cried, dear.. I just couldn't fathom what I am going to do without you. And people think I'm silly when I tell them that someone that lives six thousand miles away is moving.. you're already six thousand miles away how much further can you get? But you know what? I don't think I'm silly, and I don't think that our friendship is silly. and I love you very much.

Love always,

Panda

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