to you with mayonaise
9:32 p.m.

Dear bassboy,

You tell me that no one appreciates you. You insist that people speak to you only when they want something, and when they get it they're ungrateful. You include me in this sweeping unhappy statement without a moment's hesitation, and I don't know what to tell you.

I want to tell you that I'm not grateful for your webdesign or your html knowledge, I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that you're in my life. That when I speak to you what I want is your conversation. That I appreciate you - yes for the way you can work out IP numbers and coding and other stuff I don't understand, but also for the way you make me laugh, and the way you listen when I'm miserable.

We haven't done much of that lately - much laughing, much talking, much listening - and I don't know why because I have been trying. Sometimes I feel that you don't like me anymore, that I did something wrong. Sometimes I feel that you're just in a bad mood at the world. Sometimes I feel that you just can't be bothered with me. Sometimes I feel that it's all in my head.

I was lost for words and so I came here to force them out. And now I have I'm at a loss - do I show them to you or leave them to rot? Currently they're feverish emotions but in a few weeks time they'll just be collections of letters. Either way, When I can, I will, Try to understand, That when I can, I will.

localgirl

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