I know who I am now
11:37 a.m.

I was wondering lately: where did you go when I needed you? What did I do to deserve this ignorance and utter lack of love? I was there for you when you needed me, why couldn't you support me in the same way?

Oh T, why? Why?

And you, C and S, when did I ever betray you? I changed myself to fit what you thought I should be, I lost my English accent for you guys, I was meek and I did what you asked.

Then you betrayed me. You left me alone and climbed the social ladder--found popularity, friends... alcohol. You, in simple fact, became who you thought you wanted to be.

But you're not happy. I can tell, though you don't say it aloud it's in your eyes, your posture, your attitude.

You have friends--had different friends. Like me, like J, like... I won't go on. But you abandoned them, all for your 'popularity'.

You changed me when you found me, I was changing while you had me, and I changed again when you left me, but not in the way you'd have liked.

No, not any more. I am myself now, the way I ought to be. This is right. And it took me so long to acknowledge this.

When was I so far from 'perfection'? In your eyes, only your eyes. Now I have people around me who love me, who cherish who I am, not who I pretend to be.

So go hang out with your 'popular' friends.

I don't need you--or want you--anymore.

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