What would I do? If I did not have you?
11:20 p.m.

i jumped in the river and what did I see?
black-eyed angels swimming with me
a moon full of stars and astral cars
all the figures i used to see
all my lovers were there with me
all my past and futures
and we all went to heaven in a little row boat
there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt

i was on a plane going "home" when I fell asleep listening to Radiohead's Amnesica. Wanting to forget everything. Forget the past. Forget his face. Forget all I worry about. Forget the excutiating pain that comes with love. Forget his words. Forget his smile. Forget who I thought I was. Forget the past. Forget the present. Forget everything. I might be wrong.

I might be wrong
I could have sworn
I saw a light coming home
I used to think
I used to think
There is no future left at all
I used to think

I woke up with tears streaming down my face. And I could only think about how I did not choose to fall in love him. I do not choose how he makes me feel. I wish I could choose not to be in love with him. And if this plane went tumbling towards the earth it would be alright.

Open up, begin again
Let's go down the waterfall
Think about the good times and
Never look back
Never look back
What would I do?
What would I do?
If I did not have you?