so unlike me...
10:23 p.m.

Dear __________,

So far, so good.

I'm thinking that by the time you get back I won't even notice. I will have forgotten the way your presence used to make it hard for me to concentrate. And I will have forgotten how every breath inbetween you and me felt like canyons, oceans, vast spaces of distance. Yes, I will have forgotten that, too. And how your smile made me smile, and your laugh was enough to light a city for days, and I will even have forgotten what it felt like to hug you in the dark, with the smells of night time and parkinglot oil exhaust intermingling into a perfume of perfection. Yes...that too will be a memory lost.

But who am I kidding? Despite this brave display I know how this will play out. You'll come back, valiant and brave knight returning from a journey...a rite of passage...and i will be putty in your unknowing hands again. Because no matter how tough I've tried to be, I've always been yours...and though I know you never have, nor will you ever want me, I am still tossing and turning these few nights away. Thinking of you, and her, and the miles from home that will make the trip seem so surreal.

Yeah, I'm thinking that by the time you get back I won't even notice...because I will be out of my mind with worry.

Love,

______________

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