dangling
5:00 p.m.

you-

You crush me, with you unknown power, with your dazzling brown eyes, with your smooth flawless skin, with your smile and makes me stagger and yearn to see again and again.

You crush me with your thoughtlessness, with your withdrawal from my presences. You make me question myself, my strength, my beauty, my personality, with a single word, with a single look. I'm left confused, empty and wanting more.

You make me speechless, withdrawn, and hesitant to say the words that would make the emptiness end, that would make me whole again. You're holding a part of me, whether you know it or not, in your hands, and this power you have scares me. It makes me want to take it from you, close it off forever, so no one else can make me feel so weak, so helpless, so strung out over a boy.

If I could only utter the words to question us, to question everything in that heart of yours, but you never let me, I never let me. I keep wondering, hoping, that you'll ask, you'll say the words that will either bring me to tears or to happiness without being prompted.

I can't pick up on your body language, because my heart has played so many tricks on me before, you've played so many tricks on me before that my gut and mind can't be trusted. Or maybe I just don't want them to be right; maybe I want the happiness of being in your arms, of kissing your lips. Is all of that a disillusionment of a young girl hoping too much in an unfair world.

Oh please, tell me the truth... stop dangling my heart on a single string that it's barely holding on to. Please make the confusion and the worry end.

Whether it is good or bad, I need to know the truth.

-me

<< - >>