jjk
12:21 a.m.

I give up, 100%. I know this sounds stupid after so long, but so be it. Or maybe it doesn�t. I can�t speak for you when I can barely speak for myself.

I always had a hope, tucked away, waiting to be released, that you cared. Maybe I was wrong in hoping. Maybe I was wrong in assuming you did, or did not care, even a little. I�m not quite sure. But the things I am sure of are that I am not physically or emotionally up to this any longer. As I�ve said, many times before, I�m sure, it just hurts. It hurts not knowing how you feel towards anything, toward me specifically.

It hurts to wait around, hoping for the slightest indication of emotion from you. It�s a constant game of tug and pull. I tug at you, hoping for more effort, more honesty, and you pull away from me, even more than the last occurrence. And I am tired. Tired in my mind, my heart, and my soul. I can�t stay above the water I am drowning in, to wait for a rescue.

And there I sink into the cold, cruel substance that I have found deeply imbedded in you.

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