i still like your eyes, though.
11:17 p.m.

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I've been doing a lot of thinking today, which I know comes as little shock to you who must know how much I think about things all of the time. But today....I don't know...it felt like a step closer to a breakthrough. I made a little progress, and it felt good in a way, but of course with the good comes the bad and the bad is that my progress means that I am getting over you. It seems that I am now in love with the idea of being in love with you...I am in love with the memory of how it felt to love you with every fiber of my being, I am enamoured by my dreams of what the future could have been. But my brain is learning the truth a little more each day. My mind sees the facts and doesn't mix them up with what my heart feels so strongly. I'm starting to see you for what you really are. I'm starting to hear the words you're really saying to me, and I am finally starting to notice how nothing you ever say to me is very nice. You know, at first when you said you no longer wanted me I was crushed (and, I have to admit that I still am)...but I'm starting to realize that the loss is truly yours. And I know what will happen. There will come that moment when you're feeling hard up, when there's no one else around to comfort you and give you the attention you require...there will come a moment when you'll wish you had all of the things that I gave you so willingly, and I know you'll come to me. You will. It's inevitable. But maybe by then I won't want you anymore. I hope so. This sadness at learning so much so quickly is overwhelming.

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