danzig and satanika are not my favorites
9:07 a.m.

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I am a fool. A terribly stupid, naive, pathetic fool. Why do I do these things to myself? Why do I obsess over unworthy men and send the ones who would die for me packing before even giving them a chance? Why am I this disgusting love-masochist? I guess the first time I was told that i wanted something I couldn't have the story of my life was written, because the behavior has perpetuated itself until reaching this precipice of foolishness. I love you...I tell you every day, and every day I try to make your life a little easier in whatever way I can think of. I stay home when people ask me out just so that I'll be around in case you need me to get something for you, or in case someday you actually look up and want me around...I want to be there when that moment comes, no matter how long it takes or how brief the moment is. I have given up everything in my life that I have ever known, I have given up all of my familial links, I have altered my opnions of the world just for you...I have bent so far over backwards trying to please you that I feel like I could clean out my ears with my toes and still you do not love me back.

So, what's wrong with me? Why can I never see the truth for what it is? Why can I never be happy with the things that I can have? Why do I waste my time on people that have so little regard for me?

Why have I wasted my time and my life on you?

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