Complaining again
5:38 p.m.

Friends -

Hey guys. How are you? Great it seems. Seems everyone is doing great. I'm glad, happy for you, because only one of us should be upset at a time.

Despite the fact I've gotten a few things in my life in control, it doesn't change the feeling of spiraling into the abyss of emptiness. The more I hang out with you guys the more I feel... distanced, separate. As if I don't belong. Maybe I don't, maybe you don't want me to.

Everyone has little pairs. The couples. I'm the left over, feeling like I don't fit in. Everyone else can hang out all the time, while I have restrictions on what I am allotted to do. I wish I could hang out as much, be as open with you as you are with each other, but lately all I have been doing is crying and complaining. Everyone has to be tired of it by now, why shouldn't you be?

I feel so lonely, so out of place. I can't seem to find my place. Everything is changing and I don't know where I am in all of this.

Maybe I should stop hanging out with you guys as much, go back to who I use to and only once in a while stop by. I don't know. I wish I did.

Sorry I've been feeling so sad lately. Yet I'm so angry that none of you seem to care. Maybe its my fault for blocking you guys out, for shutting down, because I expect you to ask when I'm upset and understand I'd rather you push down my wall. I guess it's too much to ask.

-The odd one out

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