getouttamyhead
12:53 a.m.

Dear Mike,

I wish you would stop invading my mind. I keep getting these little snapshots of moments between us stuck in my head and I can't get them out. Most recently, it was of one of the last days I was living with you. You were sick and I was packing to come back home here, and you were supposed to cook me breakfast, but you didn't, and I was sitting at the head of the kitchen table, eating stale toast while you were getting ready to go back out to the barn, and before you went out, you stopped, turned around and came back to give me a quick kiss. I don't know why, but that keeps getting stuck in my head, skipping like a broken record player - music for my broken thoughts, my broken mind, my broken dreams, my broken life.

Michael said the reason you still got to me was because I still had feelings for you. I don't think so - I am repulsed by the idea that I had a relationship with a 33 year old man at 18 and didn't think anything was wrong with it. I want someone normal now. I think I only think of you because there hasn't been anyone to replace you. Noone new to kiss, noone different to make memories with. And until someone new replaces you, you'll still be running around inside of my head. I want to kiss someone else and savor it, remember it, and push you out of my head. Until then, please leave me alone.

Love,

Amanda

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