who are you?
9:57 p.m.

to...you.

when i met you, i didnt know you. i guess i still dont. you made that quite clear.

i know we didnt go out for long. it was really quite short, actually. but...i dont know. i know we had something.

we had to have had something.

i dont know what happened in your heart. but i looked in your eyes this weekend. when our eyes connected. when we just looked at each other.

oh my God.

i know what its like now. just going into high school. the summer before is like...finding yourself. you feel as if you just have to. collect your heart, soul, spirit. and reclaim them as yours. thinking that maybe the transition wont be too hard if you know yourself. dont bullshit and say that you werent scared. a part of you was. everyone feels it. okay, so not scared. just the feeling of the unknown. high school is different. too different.

even if you knew who you were, your life, your identity will be torn and split and sliced and diced apart in high school.

i know that now.

so i understand when you say i didnt know you then, when you were going into high school.

but that doesnt mean it hurts any less, knowing that. hearing it come from you.

...

we don't stop loving someone, we simply learn to live without them

...

i dont know how i feel about you. i hadnt thought about you in so long. i hadnt dreamt about you in so long.

and i have him.

i love him. more than i loved you, i know that for sure.

but seeing you again. has...brought up feelings. not love. i know that. i dont know what the feeling is, though.

its hard enough to admit now.

do you think. that maybe there isnt only one sooulmate. or one true love. that maybe there are many soulmates, and only one true love. or many true loves, but only one soulmate. i dont know. its hard to understand, hard to think about.

i dont know. i should hate you. or maybe just feel neutral towards you.

friendship.

i can lie and say thats what i feel.

but i remember looking in your eyes.

they were blocked, shielded from me.

but not fully. you looked at me. i looked at you.

there was something.

i've found my true love, my soulmate.

so

what are you, the one i cant keep out of my mind.

what are you, the one i can forget until...until i see you again.

what are you?

<< - >>