sorry
5:32 p.m.

Dear ____,

I think ive written to you a million times, but it seems like nothing I say is ever good enough. Nothing i say ever truely states what i feel, and wish i could say to you. *sigh* I know youve been dead for many years now, and I know that you have probably looked down on me and know how I feel, but I still need to say it. Im sorry. God im so sorry. If it wasnt for me, you'd still be alive today. If it wasnt for me, you wouldnt have fallen and I wouldnt have spent the last few years wandering aimlessly looking for your shadow. I am sorry, and I never meant what i did or said. You know that. You know that i love you. If i could change time, change that argument and change its outcome, you know I would change it all. but I am sorry, with all my heart and soul. and I hope you can forgive me.

Well, I thought youd like to know, after you died, I had your little boy. And he was beautiful. Your eyes, my hands. Smile like the sunrise. I swear God never made one so perfect. He grew and was very much like you. He had this cute curly hair and I even started to teach him to play piano. I remembered how you use to listen to me play, and thought you might like for him to learn. He was my only reason for living. I guess after you died, and I had him, I figured he was part of you carrying on. But when he was 4, he left me to. heh i suppose he was too much like you. Decided one day he was going to ride his horse without telling me, a younger black one just like yours. Remember when we woudl go riding? Well, he loved to ride to. And that day, he fell...and I wasnt there to pick him up. I wasnt there to catch his fall, just like I wasnt there to catch your fall. So now you both have left me. But please know, I am sorry. Im sorry for not catching you both. Im sorry for the things ive said and done. Im sorry, god im so sorry for everything. Please forgive me one day and know that i meant to catch you. I still reach for you, but my arms have never been long enough. Please forgive me. I love you.

K

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