For all those times you tore me down, and laughed because they weren't around.
9:58 a.m.

Dear Emily,

I prayed about it a lot. I really did, and I know that right now, the best thing for me to do is to let you go. You're unhealthy for me. You eat at me like a disease, and eventually - though I know you don't think I will - I am going to break down. Will that be the only time you are satisfied? You seek me out to wear me down, and it's just not fun anymore.

I don't want us to be arch enemies. I don't want to glare at you everytime I see you in the hallway. I don't want to get threatening phone calls and letters full of mushy things. I just want to let it go between us like nothing ever happened. I don't want to be angry at you, I just want to let myself heal. You have been nothing but destructive to me, and I need to rebuild myself.

This is our last year of highschool, which is why rebuilding and reinforcing myself is so very important. I need to be strong - because, even if you know that you're going to be an accountant, I don't know what I'm doing. I know I am taking a year off - who knows from there. But I need to be strong and independant and the most full person that I can be in order to survive. I'm sorry if you think I'm less of a person because I might not plan to go to university. I'm tired of you pretending to be my mother. I'm just so tired of you.

So you see? Sometimes you just have friends.. that weigh you down. And when you get rid of them, you feel lighter, and better, more confident, and more secure. That's how I felt when I let you go two weeks before school ended last spring. I don't want to answer your phone calls now. Saying "Are you ignoring me?" is certainly not the way to go about solving what's wrong. You should have known anyways. Don't be so dense. Open your eyes and realize the kind of person that you have been to me, okay? I need to grow. I need to spread my wings and fly, and you're not conducive to flying.

~aboutagirl-

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